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Happiness Is
….
My good friend, Joe, is a philosopher from the Bronx.
He is one of the most optimistic people I know, and has taught me a
great deal about life. One of his
favorite comments relates to happiness. He puts his thumb and forefinger
about an inch apart and says “there’s this much
happiness,” and then, holding both arms as far apart as he can, he
adds “and there is this much Happiness.”
I was reminded of that
comment when I received an email from an outplacement client who had
started a job after leaving another position where he had been for four
months. Don wrote “while I was
happy to have the X job, I feel like I’m in heaven in this new
one.” Many people seem to put up with an inch of happiness because of
the risk of not getting any. Perhaps it’s the fear of failure, or
maybe, like the old Peggy Lee song, “Is that all there
is?” Finding out that what you
wanted was not what you thought it was going to be is a feeling we have all
had. There is a big difference,
though, between committing to a career and choosing an entrée for dinner.
A great example is Jon Corzine,
who, in his own words, “is one of the luckiest people.” A Wall Street
multi-millionaire, Corzine decided he wanted to
be a US
Senator. Elected to the job, he
found it much too tedious, without much power to actually effect
change. So, he took advantage of
circumstances, and was elected to Governor in a state where the position
has genuine leadership potential. In an interview after his accident, Corzine said he experiences great happiness every day
because
he has a second chance to do
something he loves.
Many people who seek career
counseling are not enjoying their jobs and want to reposition themselves
into something they perceive to be more fulfilling. Often, this is a
completely new job, in another division or company, which has a different
“feel” or culture.
Brad was selling advertising
space for a radio station. Five years out of college as a communications
major, he was making “good money” by his own estimation, but
felt bored and in a dead end job.
Through our assessment of his accomplishments, the need to
communicate was clearly the driver for Brad. He was able to target communications training
companies and transition to a marketing position, which involves travel,
which he likes, conducting seminars to help people communicate more
effectively. Brad reports the
increase in job satisfaction has made him happier in all aspects of his
life.
For me, happiness is derived
from the opportunity to help others overcome the hurdles they face in
reaching greater happiness.
Happiness….. Personal
Happiness, like career
coaching, involves a certain level of planning. We have two weddings coming close….
our son, Jeff’s, is August 5th and daughter,
Elizabeth’s, is
October 7th.
This has made the planning aspect of happiness quite real.
Corporate Culture: Guess Who’s Coming to
Visit
In my work with the Five O’Clock
Club, I frequently go with Kate Wendleton, our
President, to visit human resource executives. We have corporate clients from the most
prestigious Fortune 500 companies but also from small not-for-profits.
It is very often a learning
experience for us, not only in terms of what issues are facing the manager
and employer, but also what the cultural “feel” is like. An interactive advertising agency was
made-up of twenty-somethings and the reception
area doubled as a lunchroom. A
major not-for-profit is housed in an east-side mansion where we met in a
stained-glass formal library. In
contract, we met another not-for-profit in a rather decrepit former hotel
in which the
human resource director apologized to us for having to unfold two metal
chairs.
One major teaching
hospital’s SVP’s offices are in an
ambulatory care building with real patients waiting treatment; another is
in an apartment building used for staff housing, and a third is in a very
nice office building over twenty blocks from the hospital. Each of those locations worked for the
people, we met but each felt very different to us.
When I work directly with a
client, it helps to understand both what the “feel” they are
coming from and potentially going to.
I remember one client who transferred to London,
showing me the picture of the manor house that was their European
headquarters. He called in a panic
when he got there and was assigned an office in a turret, requiring
climbing two flights of circular stairs.
The explanation was that he was going to be on the road 80% of the
time. He was ready to quit, when his
new boss told him it was a tradition to
haze the new Americans and
gave him a much less remote work area.
Physical environment is clearly
one component of corporate culture and its importance shouldn’t be
under-estimated.
Books I’d Recommend
Feel the Fear.. And Do it Anyway, by
Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., NY, Ballantine Books,
A$15.95, 2007.
One of my clients left this
recently re-issued classic for me to, as she put it,
“spread the word.” I am
a skeptic when it comes to self help books, but there is a great deal of
solid thinking here, and Jeffers writes well.
“Keep remembering that
you are aiming to get to the point where you are the giver. When you are aware of the fact that
“you have”, you can give.
When you are a giver, you have nothing to fear.”
This is the kind of book I
keep going to for a reminder of positive ideas and feelings at times when I
feel stuck, or for ideas on how I can do my job
better. I think you might find it
useful, too.
MY PRACTICE
I
actually have two related, but separate, practices. As many of you know, I work
collaboratively with The Five O’Clock Club doing career and
business coaching and see career clients privately in my office.
I
am also a licensed clinical social worker and am board certified. I accept most health insurance, but can
only bill that way if there is a legitimate mental health diagnosis.
I
would welcome any referrals.
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